Researchers at Montclair State University are looking for adults who were adopted for a research project. They’re especially interested in hearing from people like me who found out they were adopted late in life.
If you are a late-discovery adoptee and have 25 minutes to spare, check out their online survey. The researchers are trying to get a handle on the emotional impact of adoption discovery on adults. How did finding out you were adopted affect your sense of well being? Were you hurt by the news? How did you deal with it?
The survey is interesting. It made me think back on the time 11 years ago when I got the call from my sister, Melissa. Turns out we both had been adopted. What a bombshell! I was dazed by the news. Our adoptive parents were deceased so we couldn’t confront them.
While learning this shocking truth left me feeling unsettled, the information didn’t damage me. I was (and still am) happily married, with a little boy, dog and a career. Life was good (and it still is.) That’s not to say the news had no impact. The revelation punched holes in my life story. I question where I came from, and wonder what my birth mom’s situation was when she brought me into the world.
If you want to find out more about this project, call Amanda Baden, the lead researcher at Montclair State University, at 973-655-7336. You can also email her at badena@mail.montclair.edu.
Revelations 
Striving for well-being and making sense of one’s life is at the core of human nature. Knowing one’s true identity has far-reaching implications for behavior, motivation, and relationships. Life goals develop and are influenced by our perceptions of what is feasible based on our uniqueness, individuality, character, temperament, talents and self-identity.
Knowing your true identity isn’t easy when you don’t know who your biological relatives are. I thought I knew who I was until I found out I was adopted! So much for my sense of identity. Thanks for reading, Judith.
I imagine the how well the late-discovery adoptees take the news correlates with how well their adoptive parents’ did at giving them a good foundation. However, I can see how the news would create some unsettling feelings in the best of families.